


Perfection

by duointherain



Category: Gundam Wing, Tremors - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-02 05:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14537646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duointherain/pseuds/duointherain
Summary: Heero is a very good Preventer agent. Duo used to be his partner. Now he's stuck with Burt Gummer. If he could find Duo, he'd love to confess his love. Life is not fair.Then, in order to get Burt to resign from Preventers, Heero, Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa agree to an easy mission of delivering supplies to Perfection National Monument.There they find Duo.  Things are going to get grabby, and not just with the graboids!





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing or Tremors or Pokemon.

 

Notes: This is crack. The boys are Preventers. I’m pretty sure there are going to be Graboids and Burt Gummer. Okay, Duo actually seems to be American Fish and Wildlife. I think he’s kept a different secret too. 

 

“I know my rights,” Burt Gummer howled. “I know my rights!” 

Heero Yuy stared at him, took a long slow breath. “I also know your rights, Mr. Gummer. It’s not that your property was seized due to taxation issues. The issue you is that you were legally dead for nearly five hundred years. Your property legally passed to your heirs, and theirs, until it was donated to the United States government and declared a National Monument.” 

Burt was young again, in a body generated for him by the All Life Inclusive Church, a charity which Heero was entirely ambivalent about. It was all well and good to give medical care to those that needed it, but reviving those that had been dead for centuries just because one had their frozen head seemed like it ought to be some kind of violation of nature to Heero. Heero liked it a great deal less when those undead people came trying to be Preventers. It wasn’t like he didn’t understand. 

Perfection Monument was accessible only to cleared scientific personnel or field trained Preventer agents. It was also under a no-fly zone that gave one warning. It was not someplace someone could just mosey over to. 

So Burt Gummer joined the Preventers. He turned out to be very skilled with most weaponry and tactics and took to law enforcement like Maxwell to a bad joke. Then through whatever karma Heero earned to get the wrath of the gods visited upon him, he got assigned to Agent Gummer as his senior partner, to help with domestic terrorism on the ground in the United States of America. 

It was a post that Heero had been trying to get for nearly five years, ever since Duo left Preventers to work for the US Fish and Wildlife. For the last three months of Duo being his partner, he’d woken up every day telling himself that this was the day! It would be the day! He’d tell Duo that he wanted to deepen their relationship. He’d tell him that he loved everything about him. He’d explain that being near him filled him with an emotion he could only describe as joy. 

That’s not what he said though. He said things more along the lines of are you done with the paperwork? Why do you drink three pots of coffee a day? Are you sleeping with Mike in accounting? 

Then one day, Duo was gone. 

Then on another day, an almost equally bad day, he got Burt Gummer. 

Burt jabbed a couple fingers in Heero’s direction. “That’s your problem! Always thinking like a lawyer. You wouldn’t know danger if it walked up and bit you! Everything is all tech all the time with you!” 

Heero sighed, had a very vivid daydream of putting a disposable chopstick through Burt Gummer’s eye. Could it still be murder if the person had been dead for centuries? It can’t really be attempted murder if he lived because clearly the man could just be reprinted. Now that was a dreadful thought, more than one Burt Gummer in the world. 

“We are not taking this mission. It’s a supply run meant for academy students.” Heero sighed deeper. He could retire, just go find Duo, and try to earn some dharma. 

“But we have to,” Burt said, smacking his palms down on Wufei’s desk. 

Wufei wasn’t sitting at his desk, which was good, because Wufei had already said on more than one occasion that he wished to put something bigger and sharper through Burt’s heart

Quatre slipped into the room, a quiet mouse of a man, if mice could be poisonous. He set a fresh steaming cup of tea down on Heero’s desk, smiled so mildly and gently, then spun on his heel, the aura around him suddenly sparking with golden fractures of lightning. “You’re bothering my friend.”

Burt took a few steps back, palms up. “There now, miss! No need to get upset. Heero and I were just talking about this mission I think we should take.” 

“If we take this mission, will you resign?” Quatre said, smiling that sweet smile again. His well manicured fingers tapped over the edge of Heero’s desk, as if he were slowly counting to ten, over and over again. 

“Yeah,” Burt said, nodding, “Sure, if that’ll make you happy.”

Heero jumped out of his chair. “We’ll do it! I’ll get the shuttle scheduled and we can be on Earth in two days.” 

“Well, alright then! You’re almost as good as wingnut!” 

Wufei came back in then, looked at his desk, saw things were moved just slightly, and gave Burt a look that would have chilled Heero’s blood. Apparently, the Imperial Chinese weren’t as frightening in Burt’s time. 

Heero and Wufei exchanged a look that had long ago come to be the reaffirmation that they’d each help the other hide the body, if one of them would just do it. It can’t be restored to life, again, if it can’t be found. 

Two days later

Trowa had the cockpit. Heero had slept all that he could sleep, so was studying American history, which you have to if you want to apply for American citizenship. Which one might do, if say, one were to marry a long-haired American boy. 

“You want me to drill you so more, Heero,” Burt asked, as he cleaned yet one more pistol. “I don’t mind. I’m happy to be helpful. America is the land of the free, home of the brave! Now don’t you forget that!”

Heero looked over the top of his tablet, relieved that it hid most of his expression. “I believe that all people are brave, except for the ones that aren’t.” 

Burt studied him, one eyebrow drawing down. “Well, son, Americans are the brave of the brave.”

“I’ve met a couple of Americans,” Wufei said, who sat in the main cabin with them, sharpening his sword with ritualistic pleasure. “They talk too much.” 

“Yeah? I’ve known some Chinese too. One of them was a dear friend of mine. He was brave too, but he was American. It’s not like he was still a commie.” 

“I am not a communist,” Wufei half snarled. 

He and Heero shared that look, so comforting. Someday, they were going to hide a body. 

Quatre was out of uniform too, wearing pink harem pants and a lavender blouse with more cleavage than he had to fill it out. His hips swished when he walked, but the sheerness of the fabric made it transparently clear that he was not a girl. That Burt kept cringing, but couldn’t stop watching, and clearly had no need for Viagra, all that response and discomfort did great things to elevate Heero and Wufei’s mood. 

Quatre hadn’t even strapped in for reentry, but leaned against the cockpit door, whispering nearly audible things that probably made Trowa not need Viagra too. It was okay though, because Burt seemed to want all the strapping in he could get. 

When he first started talking about assblasters, Heero thought he meant Quatre. When the man started giving vivid descriptions of fire shooting out the ass, Heero was nearly to the point of explaining homosexual sex was not actually physically harmful. 

Then something that looked like leather shrapnel flew right up against them. 

Quatre gestured and that side of the shuttle went transparent, including the floor which got a very energetic set of screams out of Burt. Wufei, Quatre, and Heero all stared at the great open maw of the thing trying to eat their shuttle. Then Trowa did a barrel roll, swatted the thing with a wing, and set them down with elegance and grace, as if anyone had any doubt. Well, maybe Burt. He didn’t stop screaming until the hatch opened. 

When they left the shuttle, everyone was back in uniform, though Burt was still half muttering about the floor falling away and how untrustworthy modern technology was. 

Perfection, what was left of the town, had two buildings, it seemed. One was a store made of wood, nails, and spite. The other was a cute blue ranch style surrounded by dancing electric Christmas trees. It was probably just as well that almost no one came here. 

Heero felt glad to have his miniature buster canon slung across his back. The groundskeeper was said to be a little crazy and isolationist. The report had not listed a name, but did urge caution. It was noted that it was a very bad idea to show up in anything that looked even remotely OZish. 

Earth also had shit for climate control. The distance from the shuttle to the front door of the store made Heero think he was a fried egg. So the inside of the little store, which was blessedly air conditioned, was darker than he would have liked. They were going to be there for a week, collecting specimens, helping the science team, and unloading a year’s worth of supplies. He’d been there less than five minutes and he was already having to remind himself that this was his price for getting rid of Burt. 

The skinny kid at the counter sat on the counter, cross legged, a video game in his hands and a great big green dragon thing sitting right beside him. 

“Hello,” Heero said, “We’re from Preventers. We’ve brought supplies.”

Then the guy lifted his head and Heero’s eyes had adjusted just enough. Violet eyes. An aura of wispy bangs. Soft curving lips. Heero suddenly felt alive, as if life had found its meaning again. 

Duo held up one hand, wrinkle his nose. “I still ain’t finished that damn paperwork and if yer gon rag on me about that, you can fuckin sleep in the shuttle for all I care.” 

“I love you.” 

“I think you got heat stroke, ‘Ro.” Duo pointed towards the cooler. “Have a cold soda, uh? Sit down for a bit.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo, Burt, and El Blanco.. what could go wrong?

Perfection 2

by Max

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, Tremors, or Pokemon. 

 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14537646/chapters/33751395

 

Burt gave Heero’s shoulder a gentle shove. “If you’re going declare your love,  you need to do it with bigger guns.” 

 

Heero’s cheeks sucked in, lips puckered, nose wrinkling as he gave Burt the stink eye. 

 

Duo leaned forward. Sitting on the counter, baggy jeans and tee-shirt hanging on him, he smirked. Yellow leather work boots tapped against the counter. “Heero, who’s your buddy? You mellow so just anyone can give you love advice these days?”

 

Wufei pushed past Burt. “He has not mellowed. He’s been neurotic since you left.”  Wufei homed in on the air conditioner like a pro and staked out his spot like he wasn’t moving until they were leaving. 

 

“Neurotic, uh? So what you all fuckers doing here? Or rather what the hell did you do so bad as to draw this gig?”

 

“Agent Gummer,” Quatre said, “agreed to resign if we brought him here. Duo, can we make tea, please?”

 

“Oh shit yeah, sorry, Q. I was never a good host and I’m worse now!” Duo hopped down from the counter, motioning for Quatre to come closer to a small kitchen area. “The water is filtered, safe to drink. I got a pot, but no teapot. That okay?” 

 

Quatre grabbed him into a tight hug. “I have missed you so much, Duo Maxwell! Only now do I realize how your vibrant and enthusiastic soul nurtures my own.” When he half let go of him, he held onto his shoulders, but at arm’s length. “I want you to come to my wedding! Will you come to my wedding? Will you be my best man?”

 

“You and Trowa?” Duo said, letting himself be shaken slightly, back and forth as Quatre spoke. 

 

“No,” Quatre said, expression and voice utterly sincere. “Heero and I.” 

 

Duo’s face went Arctic pale, those big eyes were long as summer twilight. 

 

Quatre’s serious face broke and he squeezed Duo’s shoulders. “Of course Trowa and I. Heero wants to marry someone else.”

 

Duo’s attention snapped to Burt, violet eyes darkening rapidly. 

 

Quatre took a step back and held up a hand finger wagging. “Oh no you don’t! Don’t you dare go all murderous on Gummer. At least not over that. Heero is not interested in him that way.” Quatre jutted his jaw out, blue eyes wide and staring. 

 

“Gummer,” Duo asked, eyes paling to a mild violet. “Gummer, like there used to be a Gummer who lived in Perfection.” 

 

“That’s me,” Burt said, the bastard love child of a bastard and a smirk on his face. “I’m the expert on graboids.”

 

Duo drew back, batted his eyelashes, lips twitching, before he broke out in a solid laugh. Slapping his thighs, he tried to talk, “Oh God, you’re, you’re the Watchman!” Duo literally jumped up and down for a moment. 

 

“Stop,” Burt hissed. “You’ll attract them!” 

 

“OH yeah!” Duo ran back behind the counter and started tapping on what looked like disjointed music synthesizer. Every few lines of ‘music’, Duo pressed his palm to a big black membrane for a few seconds. 

 

Quatre had never looked more like he’d fallen into Wonderland, and by Wonderland, he was thinking a first class nightmare. 

 

Heero pressed his hand to his mouth, worry and regret making his eyes glitter. 

 

Burt, on the other hand, was fully activated and headed towards the counter. “What are you doing? Stop that! Do you want to die!” 

 

Trowa, who had never been of the opinion that Duo was sane so this wasn’t anything new for him, grabbed burt by the back of his shirt and just about lifted the smaller man off the floor to keep him from making progress towards Duo.  “Maxwell, what are you doing?”

 

“El Blanco is coming! She’s super happy to see you again! I told her you were dead. She ain’t never gon let me live that down.” Duo grinned, the multicolor lights from the music pads he’d converted to communication put a rainbow halo around his head. 

 

Trowa actually had to lift burt up off the wooden floor, and he was still reaching out to grab Duo. “You can’t talk to them, you idiot! They’re carnivorous worms!”

 

“The thing that hit the shuttle wasn’t a worm,” Quatre pointed out, as he migrated to Duo’s communication system, a little like a moth to the flame. “How does it work?”

 

Duo motioned him closer. “They communicate with vibration and temperature. I’ve worked out a system with them. Put your hand here,” Duo pointed at the speaker like membrane. Then he played a blue and red flashing sequence. 

 

Quatre tensed when the reply came. The hand that wasn’t on the membrane flew up in the air, waving randomly. “Do it again!” 

 

Duo giggled, tapped out a different sequence. “Who is that? This? That I’m ‘hearing’?”

 

“That’s El Blanco. She’s like ten thousand years old.” 

 

“She’s going to eat you! I know! I was eaten once!” 

 

Trowa set burt down, but gave him a look that held him in place.  All the boys were perfectly deadly, but burt only seemed to recognize that in Trowa. 

 

“Duo why are you here?” Heero finally asked.

 

Pushing a bit of stray hair back behind his ear, Duo stared at Heero for a moment, and seemed to relax just a little. “I’m protecting them. Someone had to protect them.”

 

Burt smacked his face, pressed his fingers to his scalp for a moment. “They eat people! They’re killers.” 

 

“We’re all killers,” Duo said with a shrug. “We have to try to do better.”

 

Burt pointed to his chest, glaring at Duo with self righteous zeal. “I’ve never killed anyone!” 

 

“That makes one of us,” Trowa said meaningfully. 

 

“I make it to the future and I’m surrounded by bipedal graboids! And you!” He pointed to Heero. “You’re a smart man, but you’re in love with this crazy girl? Even Val and Earl did better than that!” 

 

“What your mouth,” Trowa said. 

 

It was in that moment that Quatre wondered if Trowa actually intended to kill Agent Gummer. Quatre’s eyes roamed over Trowa, remembering how solid his shoulders were, tight narrow hips, and god, so much to love. 

 

Trowa felt his lover’s eyes on him, tilted his head and smiled, winked quickly. 

 

“I’m a man,” Duo said, hopping back up on the counter where he’d been they arrived, before sliding off the other side. “My dick is probably bigger than yours, and well, fuck you.” 

 

“It’s probably not,” burt said, shaking a finger at Duo, before looking at Heero like he could adjudicate that issue. 

 

Heero suddenly felt the need to examine the ceiling, for any possible threats. 

 

Duo grabbed two cold sodas, a blueberry and a cream soda. He popped them both open at the wall mounted opener and dropped the lids in the bamboo trash can below. His braid swayed over his ass as he walked out the door. 

 

With no attempt at dignity, Heero crossed to the glass door to watch where Duo was going. “What is that?”

 

Some as tall as a mastiff and the color of dried bones moved around Duo. It wasn’t as big as Heero had expected. Duo poured cream soda out and the thing opened a mouth like a bad science fiction flower to drink in the stream, thick flamingo colored tongue swirling around the stream. Duo drank from the blue soda and Heero stared like a love sick schoolboy. 

 

The other three pressed up behind him. 

 

“Its heart isn’t that ugly,” Quatre said, interested, but not overly emotional. 

 

“It’s Duo’s dog,” Trowa asked, not even a little convinced.

 

“God help us,” burt whispered. “It’s El Blanco, but small....” 

 

Then El Blanco saw/heard him and it could move fast. Across the dry ground, towards the stairs and burt ran. Across the store, towards the ladder that lead up to the hatch to the roof. 

 

The others just got out of the way and El Blanco came through the door like she was familiar with it.  burt screamed and pounded at the locked hatch. A long tongue twisted around his ankle and gave a good pull.  burt pulled his pistol.

 

Quatre frowned. Trowa handed him burt’s bullets. Quatre bubbled with adoration as he pocketed the little brass valentines. 

 

burt fired and got nothing more than a click. 

 

El Blanco licked him right over his face, tickled his ear. He couldn’t suppress the giggle, even as he struggled frantically to get free and she settled on his chest. 

 

Duo tapped the floor in a pattern that Heero could see was in the same type of sequence Duo had been making on the synthesizer.  El Blanco shifted to the side, just getting off burt’s chest enough that he could breathe. 

 

“Oh thank god,” Burt wheezed.

 

“Don’t worry,” Duo said, spilling a little more soda in her mouth. “They’re only dangerous when they’re big. She’s really happy to know you’re not dead.”

 

Arms flopped out on the floor, Burt sighed heavily. “That’s great. Just great.”   

  
  
  



	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heero makes sure Duo knows his confession of love was real. Duo's still not buying it.

Perfection 3

by Max

disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, Tremors, or Pokemon.

Heero followed Duo out of the shoddy little store, found himself resenting the shoddy and disreputable desert around the place and the insufferable heat. Duo’s ass though was its own kind of insufferable, round and firm and covered by well worn cloth the way modesty draped a Greek god. It was the tip of the braid swaying back and forth as he walked that was more Victorian hypnotist. “I demand an explanation!” Heero shouted. He stamped the dusty red ground, refusing to accept hat Duo could just walk away and live this nearly dishonorable life while talking to worms. 

Duo just kept walking, unfazed by Heero’s screech, the heat, or even Burt’s inarticulate bubbling indignation. El Blanco had learned that some humans are ticklish the year before. It was a very useful skill. 

Heero’s chin jutted out, face twisting up. 

Duo didn’t even notice. 

“Duo!” Heero ran after him then, a few steps. His volume hadn’t gone down even a little. “I don’t understand!”

Duo spun around then, without even pausing his stride, until he grabbed Heero by the front of his shirt, jerked him hard, and close so that their lips touched. It wasn’t a polite kiss, but it was a calculated risk. Blue eyes went wide, captured by determined violet eyes that narrowed and stared deep into him. 

Heero pushed his own surprise aside and consciously softened his lips, letting them part, inviting Duo deeper. 

That shifted the power and Duo’s eyes went wide with surprise. 

Heero, who had no illusions that he was the most suave or adept at human relationships, but had been thinking about this moment for a long time, and was pretty good at strategy, carried the advance forward, his hand sliding up Duo’s back. He focused all the love and kindness and support and desire he could into his actions, some mix of calming a frightened and feral cat and talking a jumper down, as his other hand brushed over Duo’s face, into his hair. With determined, but steady force, he pushed the kiss back over Duo’s side of the battle line. He pressed into Duo’s mouth, touching his tongue to Duo’s with love, respect, pouring every single milligram of devotion he could into the kiss.  
Duo’s body went soft and Heero held him closer, hand between his shoulder blades as he leaned him back a little, both controlling the kiss as Heero asked for Duo’s trust. 

Duo’s surprise turned to disbelief, a wild dream like state where he accepted without validating. Both his hands went to Heero’s face, touching, shaking as he sought to make sure that the world was still real. 

Burt had won free at that point, leaning against the door frame. “That’s my boy!” He called out, though not loud enough that Heero or Duo would hear him. 

Quatre’s eyebrows shot up, blinking at Burt like he’d just suggested El Blanco for the Preventer’s program. Wufei only shot Burt a furtive look, maybe considering if the man were genuinely insane or not. 

Trowa watched all those reactions and sighed. “You and Heero are not related.”

“Well, no, but I’m his mentor,” Burt said, grinning brightly. 

Quatre’s eyelid twitched. 

El Blanco smacked a soda bottle against Burt’s leg. He stared for a moment, sighed, and opened the bottle for her. She rippled, a kind of bounce, almost like a happy dog as the soda spilled towards her slobbering mouth. 

When the kiss broke, Heero kept hold of Duo, who didn’t fight the embrace. “I meant it, Duo. I want to be near you, to know you, to cherish you, to love you, I crave you when we’re apart.”

Duo sighed, dramatic and long. “Heero Yuy. You do everything, and I mean everything, with this quest mentality. You know things about me and you’ve worked with me some, but you don’t really know me. You got this feeling in you and you think it’s this big something, but it ain’t. I ain’t what you think I am.” 

Heero bit his lip, brows drawing down as Duo spoke. “I think you don’t know what love is. It is something of the spirit that manifests one’s being more fully when it is present. Whatever you think I don’t know about you, it will only make me love you more.”

Fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose, violet eyes watching Heero as he spoke, Duo tucked his chin and stared. “That’s some straight up bullshit, Heero, but you can stay until you’re ready to leave.” 

“Acceptable,” Heero said, “Do you have space in your home or do I need to build myself a house?”

Duo blinked a few times. “Ah gotta room,” he said, surprise coloring his accent.

“Good. I’ll get my bag from the shuttle. I didn’t bring much. I didn’t know you were here.” 

Duo threw his hands towards the sky. “Ya sain ya woulda just showed up and stayed if ya had known?”

“Yes,” Heero said, smiling softly. 

“Great,” Duo said, spinning back around. “Come on then. Ah need a drink.”

Wufei covered his face with a hand, sighing heavily. “This is the worst injustice.”

“How you figure that,” Burt asked.

Wufei side eyed him. “We were supposed to get rid of you, not him.”

“One of these days, you might actually hurt my feelings. Let’s get the jeep and go out to my old place, see what’s still there. Some of the food might still be good.”


End file.
